The DN

1  Did I tell you that Don Pardo walked into a bar, or did I tell that to my students?

2  

3   <ahem>

4   Uh...my students would have no idea who Don Pardo was. 

5   If you do, consider this: you old.

6   #cathatatethecanarysmile

7   Moving On, Part One: Consider this: I don't know who Don Pardo is because I don't remember anything anymore. 

8   Anybody lookin'?

9   See item six.

10  Ah, whatevs.

11  Just having fun with you.

12  Hope nobody's offended.

13  Moving On, Part Two: Did Major League Baseball actually make a correct call?

14  I loved hearing that they took that tarp incident and made it right. Heck, even the Cubs wanted them to do that. 

15  Dang! There's still hope for mankind! 

16  I've gotten so used to all this bad news that gets thrown at us by the Man every day that I wondered if things were ever going to get even a little good.

17  That just goes to show.

18  Like I told you.

19  What I said.

20  Steal your face right off your head. 

21  The Man. 

22   Always messin' with our minds, just like the infamous Mind Messer. 

23   

24   A character in a skit from way back when. His power was that if he looked at you, your mind would get messed. 

25   Jason Lane and Rich Colbert out there in DN/FB Land can tell you more, but it was one of the hottest running skits during one of the many heydays of the Performing Arts Department "back in the day". 

26   Brilliant stuff. Pidah Man. 

27  Eternal. 

28   Even folk that wasn't there can probably relate to the comic book creativity of Pidah Man. 

29  The Mind Messer's power was just that: he had the power to mess your mind, causing anyone approaching an ATM to shake violently while lights strobed and blinked, followed by this: "Oh no! My mind is MESSED!!!"

30  Ponch and I used to put folding chairs in the classroom and watch those skits. Easy way to spend Fridays. 

31  Common Core before it had a name. 

32  The students ran Fridays. 

33   Good times, fond memories. 

34  Moving On, Part the Thoid: I don't really have a part the thoid but I was long overdue in getting one out there, so I guess this will do the trick. 

35  That's the nice thing about being a hack.

36  You never get old. 

37   Even though your material does. 

38   Anybody lookin'?

39   Yeesh.

40   I'm still trying to iron out the wrinkles in my lessons this week. 

41   I need to iron out the wrinkles in the knees of my pants. 

42   I wish I could iron out the wrinkles on my mug.

43   

44   Okay, okay enough about me. 

45   I never have much to say anyway, but I still say it. 

46   My goal is to catch anyone reading this and have their hot oatmeal come out of their nose. 

47   I'm a man of high aspirations. 

48   If a raisin goes through it's a Daily Double. 

49   

50   All right, my conscience is telling me I'd better get goin'.

51   Oh, I imagine. 

52   Hope you have a GREAT day. 

53   See you again. 

54   Peace.

~H~