"Look, look, look to the..."
The Once-in-a-While
Daily News
1 I spent most of Sunday night goofing on Facebook.
2 That's WAY too much time spent goofing on Facebook.
3 The trouble with Facebook is that sometimes five or six people are posting hilarious memes, new rock artists, interesting articles, or funny gifs. WAY funny gifs.
4 The trouble with Sunday night was that all of the above took place.
5 By the end of the evening I resembled a wire coat hanger bent over the arm of a chair.
6 That's no way to live.
7 I went to the doctor for treatment. This was all he could come up with:
8 It ain't pretty, I tellya.
9 Don't get old.
10 Did you ever try to hang a heavy coat on a wire hanger?
11
12 Boushit.
13 You did too.
14 It ain't pretty neither.
15 Ah, whaddya gonna do?
16 I thought long and hard about what I was going to contribute to an upcoming Wednesday morning, and all I could think of was this:
17 What happened on Tuesday?
18 You don't know on Sunday night what is going to happen on Tuesday.
19 At least most of us don't. Or maybe most of you do.
20 Doesn't matter.
21 This might just be a warning to stay away from Facebook.
Or Tuesdays.
Or Tuesdays.
22 The euphemism "social media" doesn't work for me.
23 The only social media I know is Facebook.
24 What?
25 That's right. I'm not a "Twitterer." And I'm nowhere near being a "Pinterester."
26 "Instagramist?"
27 Puh-leeeeeeez.
28 That's seven "e's" yo.
29 Admit it.
30 You counted.
29 Admit it.
30 You counted.
31 Anyway, I still have no idea where this is headed.
32 It's a sort of runaway train. You were warned.
33 So it could take you here, for example:
34
35 Or, if you are anywhere near lucky, it could take you here:
36
37 Or if you have a golden ticket, it could take you here:
38
39 Nuthin' like a damsel in distress to make a Wednesday what a Wednesday oughta be.
40 A wire coat hanger bent over the arm of a chair.
41 Christmas movies are still on.
42 I'm starting to find a little solace in them, even if they feature Mariah Carey in spiked heels.
43 Lots of sugary food commercials swirling with popping-pharmaceutical-meds commercials. P-r-e-t-t-y hypocritical
if you ask ol' Un-Judgie Wudgie me.
44 Wooooooops!
45 I just featured a dangling hyphen in that last item, item
number 43, above.
46
47 He don't care, I don't care.
48 'Murica.
49 I'm just happy to be walking around.
50 I still feel like an old, bent coat hanger this morning.
51 I'll let crabby ol' Maxine take over for a spell.
52 Did I already advise you not to get old?
53 Here go. Maxine:
54 Clearly, what this DN needs is a few Beebeez.
55 Nothing cheers me up more.
56 So here:
53
57 Okay then, gottago.
58 See you again.
59 I hope. Look to the beautiful. Look to the rainbow. They've show tunes about that.
60 And, as always, look to this:
61 Live life.
62 Love life.
63 Peace.
40 A wire coat hanger bent over the arm of a chair.
41 Christmas movies are still on.
42 I'm starting to find a little solace in them, even if they feature Mariah Carey in spiked heels.
43 Lots of sugary food commercials swirling with popping-pharmaceutical-meds commercials. P-r-e-t-t-y hypocritical
if you ask ol' Un-Judgie Wudgie me.
44 Wooooooops!
45 I just featured a dangling hyphen in that last item, item
number 43, above.
46
Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff
don't care.
47 He don't care, I don't care.
48 'Murica.
49 I'm just happy to be walking around.
50 I still feel like an old, bent coat hanger this morning.
51 I'll let crabby ol' Maxine take over for a spell.
52 Did I already advise you not to get old?
53 Here go. Maxine:
54 Clearly, what this DN needs is a few Beebeez.
55 Nothing cheers me up more.
56 So here:
53
57 Okay then, gottago.
58 See you again.
59 I hope. Look to the beautiful. Look to the rainbow. They've show tunes about that.
60 And, as always, look to this:
61 Live life.
62 Love life.
63 Peace.
~H~
fin.
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