Wednesday, September 20, 2017




The Once-in-a-While
Daily News

Tabula Rasa. That's Latin. Latin is trending up. More on that later. Nicole just informed me that Safeway hasn't any pumpkin spice creamer. 

Noooooooo!!! This isn't Jack, but more on that
later. This should have nine "O's." IMHO. 

2  No pumpkin spice creamer.

I got the shooks. That's the past tense of the shakes, because isn't the purpose of coffee to GET the shakes, to begin with? With which to begin?

3  And since I was writing in the past tense, I feel, no, I felt the need to use the past tense of "the shakes," since it
happen-ed.

4  So there. The shooks. 

5  Crushed it. 

6  Ah, 2017. Ah, wilderness. So hip. Here's some 2017 hip.
Ready? Get a helmet. Here go:

7  "Crushed it when I rolled it out and ramped it up. I chased that adult beverage with arugula, coconut oil and white vinegar. Oh. And quinoa."
                                        ---Anonymous 

8  I just hope I'm not walking into an aruibus teneo lupum
That's an unsustainable situation where if I do another thing or if I don't do another thing it could become disastrous.  

9  Okay. The quinoa threw me off. The very word "quinoa" sounds Latin. It sounds Latin because it IS Latin. Did you know that it is pronounced both "keen-wah" and 
"kee-no-wah?" I'd print the source, but last time I used that source, it ate my computer. You'll just have to hunt that one down on your own. 

10  Sometimes I loathe the Twenty-First Century.

11  It's title alone. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: "Twenty-First Century" sounds like a real estate company.

12  Sometimes I think I must go mad. 



13  Fads. And trending-up words.

14  Not sustainable. The last thing you want to be is topical.


Colin Cowherd: Trending up and already
jumping a few sharks.

15  Funny. Stuff gets dated fast. I heard Colin Cowherd on Monday morning referencing Milli-Vanilli, Enron, and other fancy stuff.

16  It's already rusty dust. It's already the proverbial water under the clichéd bridge.

17  It gives me the shakes. But it gave me the shooks.

18  I'm living in the wrong century. Teenagers associate getting the shakes with this:

Five Guys. This is not intended to disparage their fine products.

19

20  <crickets>

21  

22  Is there a back door outta here?

23  Latin. It's trending. That's why I introduced auribus teneo lupum into the mix. Here is a link to Latin Phrases You Should be Using. I titled it "Auribus Teneo Lupum Latin Dictionary."  Hit the link, not the picture:



Harrius Potter. Just for ducks.


24  If you are bored or lazy, skip the link.

25  If you are bored or crazy, skip the link.

26  I personally hope to memorize as much Latin as possible
just so that if I fall into conversation with some boring sort, I could inflame him or her (or her or him, for that matter) with my expertise. 

The word expertise, incidentally, is a French word now considered chiefly British. It originated in France somewhere between 1865 and 1870.

27  So I fully intend to go Latin. Got it? 

28  Know why?

29  'Cuz I'm cool like that.

30




31  Moving On, Part One: I began writing all this nonsense the other night, might have been Saturday. I began with tabula rasa, which in Latin means essentially "blank tablet."

32  I had utterly nothing to write about. About which to write. 

33  So I began with those words: Tabula Rasa. That's how a lot of this stuff magically fell into these sacred tablets. 

34 This began with tabula rasa. 


Moses and the sacred tablets.


35  How it morphed into a lesson on etymology puzzles me.

36  The world may never know. 







37  I had written a better piece. I really had. But once I curled up with a little Latin wisdom, I humbled.

38  I decided to pare it down. 

39  I was inspired by a Latin quote by an ancient character named Unknown:

It is this: 

"Vir sapit qui pauca loquitur." 

It means this:

"That man is wise who talks little."

38  Yup. 

39  Then there was this slice of humble pie from a fella by the name of Publilius Syrus:

"Malum consilium quod mutari non potest" 

Which means this:

"It's a bad plan that can't be changed."

40  Yup.

41  Perhaps my favorite Latin quote this fine day, from Ovid:

"Materiam superabat opus."



Ovid. Don't even ASK how you pronounce his
bloody name. 

Translation:

"The workmanship was better than the subject matter."

42  Yup. You know you're a cooked goose at this point, which is clearly the point of no return. But I always enjoyed the following, or offshoots thereof, from my good pal Terence:

"Forest fortuna adiuvat."

Which means:

"Fortune favors the brave."

43  And one by the modern poet Cabal:

"Backdoorius elsewhereium?"

Which translates roughly to this:

"Is there a back door outta here?"

44  And the reply:

"Immedius herium!" which roughly translates to this:

"Right here, right now."

45  Gottago.

46  Hope you enjoyed all of this nonsense. 

47  See you again.

48  Have a GREAT day.

49  Oh.

50  And do something for me?

51  Live life.

52  Love life.

53  Peace.


~H~






















fin.





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