The Once-in-a-While
Daily News
1 Ladies and Gentlemen: August.
2 What I like about August is that I'm usually already done by now with my Back-to-School items, which began just after May.
3 I exaggerate, I'm sure, but while enjoying my two weeks in Tahoe this year, I saw stores already getting rid of summer sale stuff and bringing in displays for Back-to-School, Halloween, Thanksgiving, AND Christmas.
4 This was when we first arrived for our summer vacay on the 16th of July. I already had trouble buying picnic umbrellas and solid umbrella stands a few weeks earlier.
5 I live in Sacramento, which is experiencing a cool week with temps just a little over 101 degrees, and I STILL don't have nearly enough shade so that kids can play outside on my cement.
6 Ah, whatduhyuh gonna do.
7 I'm glad I'm retired, lemme tellya.
8 What kills me is the onslaught of Fall being advertised ridiculously early these days. Teachers returning to the classroom KNOW that the work is relentless and that no holiday can be enjoyed because they have to spend all their waking hours grading, prepping, thinking through the night, and bringing it every day, nonstop. And yes, it is THAT exhausting. They need to have at least a moment in the summer when they can be on another planet. Mars comes immediately to mind. What they don't need midsummer is being reminded of the glamour and glory of the Fall season. Screw that.
9 "Stuff the Bus" June 1st to July 31st? Seriously??? June F'ing 1st? No rest for the wicked.
10 What next? A Back-to-School campaign during end-of-the-year finals? In my later days, it was all I could do to keep from going over the edge. I wanted to threaten people with plastic spoons.
11 Here are things teachers would rather not see during their summer vacation:
12
13 No wonder teachers go psycho.
14 It happens every Spring.
15 For those teachers and staff going through all of this, may the fierce be with you.
16 Grammarly saw that last sentence as interrogative.
17 May it?
18 May-o-nnaise?
19 Spelling daemon.
20 O, the humanity!
21 All this Back-to-School crap used to happen right after Labor Day if you don't include K-Mart or Wal-Mart, both of which thought people REALLY wanted to get Thanksgiving deals in June.
22 Still, back in the day, you had a fighting chance. Or not, if you have Band Camp.
23 We interrupt this retired rant to bring you these special teacher memes:
24
9 "Stuff the Bus" June 1st to July 31st? Seriously??? June F'ing 1st? No rest for the wicked.
10 What next? A Back-to-School campaign during end-of-the-year finals? In my later days, it was all I could do to keep from going over the edge. I wanted to threaten people with plastic spoons.
12
13 No wonder teachers go psycho.
14 It happens every Spring.
15 For those teachers and staff going through all of this, may the fierce be with you.
16 Grammarly saw that last sentence as interrogative.
17 May it?
18 May-o-nnaise?
20 O, the humanity!
22 Still, back in the day, you had a fighting chance. Or not, if you have Band Camp.
Dr. Seuss: Incidental Music.
23 We interrupt this retired rant to bring you these special teacher memes:
24
25 Do I miss it?
26
27
28
29 I hope that answers your question.
30 Right now I'm in a nice place.
31 I help care for cute babies for my daughters.
32 Yesterday I exchanged texts with my dear friend Gemma. We talked about how it seems that school starts earlier and earlier each year.
33 I don't even remember how any of that ever happened. I was always old skool when it came to the school year. I liked going into early June before the end of the school year but starting the new school year in September.
34 My goodness.
35 Gemma and I had some nice exchanges, and then I told her how being a retired G-Pa is reasonably well-named.
36 You take care of Beebeez; you make them giggle, they get into everything, you get tired, they scream a bit, and you get re-tired.
37
38 Get it? Re...
39 Ah, nebbermind.
40 Anybody lookin'?
42 Ah, it's all good. I'm booked up for the next month anyway.
43 I hope to get into a lot of mischief in the coming weeks.
44 The trouble with retirement is that I feel like everyone I know is retired. Not the case.
45 I just glanced up at item 43, above. Grammarly wanted it to read, "I hope to get into a lot of mischiefs in the coming weeks."
46 Mischiefs. More than one mischief.
47 I commanded it to ignore such a correction, since "mischief" simply shouldn't end in the letter "s" ever.
48 What an odd correction.
49
50
51 Did I just get "shushed?"
52 Ever get "shushed?"
53 If someone "shush's" you, depending on the circumstance, of course, but if you think you were not being loud, I believe you have the right to turn to the person and say, "Pshawwwwwww," with seven W's, one for each day of the week.
54
55
56 I think I gottago.
57 See you again.
58 Have a GREAT day.
59 Live life.
60 Love life.
61 Peace.
fin.
No comments:
Post a Comment