Why do you think they call it
pro-NUN-ciation?
\
Hamlet, Act ii, Sc. ii
The Daily News
1 Whew.
2 Slow week.
3 For a trillionth of a second yesterday, I thought it was Thursday.
4 I then looked around my neighborhood and saw hundreds of garbage/recycle bins resting on the curb.
5 I walked out at one point and they became hombres in an old Western. They stood for a second and then they morphed back to normal. Garbage Day yesterday was.
6 And it is still February. A long, long February. Have I mentioned that it is perfectly okay to pronounce it Feb-YOU-airy? I have. I have always mused at people who hesitate on the pronunciation of that word. The hesitation is short but is also evidence enough to conclude that the speaker never completely committed to a decisive, lifelong pronunciation. This is something that should have been handled at a much younger age. Listen:
7 You must commit to such things, and do so early. And then you must stay consistent. I've pronounced it "Feb-ROO-ary" since I first saw its spelling (hope the visual helps), only because I liked spelling when I was a lad. I also knew that given two separate choices, you must chose one, particularly if it involves lifelong repetition of an action, or, in this case, of a pronunciation. Both pronunciations are correct, by the way, but why waste time with stuttering?
8 I used that philosophy at an early age. I want to say five, but I'd be lying if I said that is accurate. I do have a clear concept of this one morning when my Mom woke me up, and I wasn't ready to get up. I was groggy and crabby and just wanted to sleep in.
But then, a funny thing happened. I realized I had plenty of sleep, and that the grogginess wore off pretty fast, because I was...well, five, and well-rested. I didn't stay up half the night worried about my job, or coming home from a bar. I was five. I had nine hours of sleep, and no concept of whiskey.
9 I changed my attitude right there. I recall thinking this: "Hey. I have to wake up every single morning for the rest of my life. The grogginess wears off within minutes. Why not pop out of bed each morning, and get myself in a good mood?"
10 And that, ladies and gentleman, is how I became a total morning person. It seems so simple, but if you never were a morning person, you are probably an angry coffee fiend now. You can still change. There's hope. You can change. No prob.
11 Haha, just kiddin'. Once life, worry, stress, and all the rest jumped into the mix, I found it much more difficult. My remedy in adulthood was this: get a minimum of five hours, and you can operate at three-quarters, and fake the last quarter.
12 I had this conversation with Coach Lisa Baker when we were both up at Evergreen. She laughed, because we agreed that teaching at a pushy school like EV demanded a lot of preparation. Parents, in particular, could be a lot more demanding. It takes longer to check for cheating and plagiarism at schools where parents expect straight A's from their kids. This adds many more hours of preparation, because you have to be prepared to explain why Johnny got an F on his magazine project, or on his mile, or whatever.
13 So Coach Baker said to me, "You know what I say when I find I have awakened in the morning, looked at the clock, and saw that I got over five hours sleep? 'Got mah five!' "
14 Okay, so a bit of a circumlocutious way of saying that some decision-making in life can be a no-brainer. What difference does it make if you call this stupid month "Feb-roo-airy" or "Feb-you-airy?" Make a choice and stick with it. Hesitation hath no course but train wreck.
15 Wow. Deep. Roll over, Will Shakespeare, and tell Will Butler the news.
16 My decision on the pronunciation of February was much more practical than that. Pronouncing it "Feb-YOU-airy" would confuse me on a spelling test. I'm sure of that, since the "r" comes immediately after the "b" in the word. When you are a good speller, you sound words out. "Wed-niz-day." Then you take a mind pic of how it is spelled. Oh, and watch out for that silent "d." It's there, but it isn't pronounced. And TNEN you make sure you got your five.
But then, a funny thing happened. I realized I had plenty of sleep, and that the grogginess wore off pretty fast, because I was...well, five, and well-rested. I didn't stay up half the night worried about my job, or coming home from a bar. I was five. I had nine hours of sleep, and no concept of whiskey.
9 I changed my attitude right there. I recall thinking this: "Hey. I have to wake up every single morning for the rest of my life. The grogginess wears off within minutes. Why not pop out of bed each morning, and get myself in a good mood?"
10 And that, ladies and gentleman, is how I became a total morning person. It seems so simple, but if you never were a morning person, you are probably an angry coffee fiend now. You can still change. There's hope. You can change. No prob.
11 Haha, just kiddin'. Once life, worry, stress, and all the rest jumped into the mix, I found it much more difficult. My remedy in adulthood was this: get a minimum of five hours, and you can operate at three-quarters, and fake the last quarter.
12 I had this conversation with Coach Lisa Baker when we were both up at Evergreen. She laughed, because we agreed that teaching at a pushy school like EV demanded a lot of preparation. Parents, in particular, could be a lot more demanding. It takes longer to check for cheating and plagiarism at schools where parents expect straight A's from their kids. This adds many more hours of preparation, because you have to be prepared to explain why Johnny got an F on his magazine project, or on his mile, or whatever.
13 So Coach Baker said to me, "You know what I say when I find I have awakened in the morning, looked at the clock, and saw that I got over five hours sleep? 'Got mah five!' "
14 Okay, so a bit of a circumlocutious way of saying that some decision-making in life can be a no-brainer. What difference does it make if you call this stupid month "Feb-roo-airy" or "Feb-you-airy?" Make a choice and stick with it. Hesitation hath no course but train wreck.
15 Wow. Deep. Roll over, Will Shakespeare, and tell Will Butler the news.
17 Dark Secrets, Part One: Secretly though? Secretly, I have always wanted to say "Feb-you-airy," the same way I always wanted to talk back to a nun. I always wondered what that would feel like. Nerd dreams. It's my Catholic guilt. Please ignore, or you may be looking straight down the barrel at this:
18 Anybody lookin'?
18 Anybody lookin'?
19 But yeah, I prefer "Feb-you-airy," that much is certain.
20 Moving On, Part One: Ah, words. They make me have a headache. That's a Caitlin-ism from when she was a kid. "You guys are making me have a headache!" she would say at various times. What times? Why, whenever we made her have a headache.
20 Moving On, Part One: Ah, words. They make me have a headache. That's a Caitlin-ism from when she was a kid. "You guys are making me have a headache!" she would say at various times. What times? Why, whenever we made her have a headache.
21 Words. It's funny, because I have always pronounced "either" eee-ther, with a voiced th, of course. For some reason, I always felt that "eye-ther" was supercilious, not to mention stuffy to a fault.
22 Likewise "neither" would be "neee-ther" and NEVER the horrifically shameful "nye-ther." That one curdles my blood. Yet each version is considered correct.
23
24 It is personal preference. Words, I swear to you.
25
Lord Polonius
...What do you read, my Lord?
Hamlet
Words, words, words.
---Hamlet, Act ii, Sc. ii
26 Moving On, Part the Thoid: Thank God it is Wed-nes-day.
27 Why is there a "d" in there? Who invented that?
28 I don't know how much more of this I can take.
29 Ah, it's all good.
30 Silly.
31 Go get a second cup of coffee, or tea, if you are contemptible. Or whiskey if you worry a lot.
32 I'll wait.
33 <waits>
34 <singing> Doe-de-doe...
35 Moving On, Part Four: If you know me, you know I am a huge believer in watching coincidences, and paying attention to them.
36 This dates way back to the early days at Yerba Buena High School in San Jose, and the haunting of the Theatre by a ghost named Heidi.
37 The stories over the years are legendary. You could probably scroll through my history on this nonsense and find a few. Most of my Heidi stuff begins happening in October each year, but the coincidences are ongoing. I've likened my experiencing massive coincidences to Cole's seeing dead people in the classic film The Sixth Sense.
38 The coincidences have revolved around certain recurring themes through the years. The numbers one and nine, for example, recur throughout. I might think of the name "Heidi" and then look to my right to see a guy bouncing a basketball, and wearing a number nine jersey. That's a light "Heidi trip."
39 Another recurring theme is anything having to do with the Titanic. Or Van Gogh's The Starry Night. Or Dr. Wayne Dyer.
40 Many, many readers of this have experienced some of this sort of psychic stuff along with me. It is fascinating.
41 Dyer has appeared at amazing times through the years, one time in particular when I was trying to remember how I was going to end a one-act I wrote for a show a few years back.
42 I was writing a small one-act, thought of a GREAT ending involving Vincent Van Gogh, got interrupted by a field trip to Camp Everytown (the former Camp Anytown), and came back to a massive case of writer's block: for the life of me, I couldn't remember how my ending was to go.
43 I was writing the thing in a spiral notebook so that I could work on it at camp, but if you've ever gone, you know that there is little time to do anything but get brainwashed, but in a nice way.
44 I couldn't even concentrate on finishing that script, because Camp Everytown exhausts your emotions, and for a stint, erases your normal life for a few days.
45 And yes, it was always a mini-vacation, and always an amazing experience.
46 But when I got back, I needed an ending. People were memorizing lines, but the closer we got to performance, the tougher that chore was going to be.
47 So one Sunday morning I pulled the spiral notebook out, and I clicked on the TV. As I recall, the film Serendipity was playing. John Cusack film all about signs and coincidences. When the film ended, I turned off the TV. When I turned it back on, an episode of Medium was on. It was the classic one with Vincent Van Gogh. It was during that episode that the ending to that one-act started coming back to me.
I finished watching, and turned off the TV. The following morning I turned the TV back on. It was on public television, and Dr. Wayne Dyer was giving a talk on coincidences, and other stuff about his children. They went to a pledge break, and when they returned, Dr. Dyer was standing in front of a large projection of The Starry Night. He then introduced his daughter, and she went on to talk about coincidences...
48 The original ending to the one-act was all about Van Gogh's The Starry Night, and the pronunciation of his last name, which brought a young couple back together after a huge misunderstanding. At just the right "awkward" pause in an argument, the couple stopped and argued about the pronunciation. Fun ending, and just in time so as not to be overly dramatic or corny. And just enough time for me to write the ending and get on with the Show.
49 Moving On, Part Five: Last night I had a bad night. I kept trying to get baby pics onto my new laptop, and I was met with roadblocks everywhere. The more I tried, the more I couldn't get baby pics where I wanted them. Trust me, I knew it was user, but I went into the midnight hour, and finally decided to calm my stuff down, and to Google Dr. Wayne Dyer.
50 It was a lecture he gave just before he passed on at the age of 64. He even referenced the Beatle tune When I'm Sixty-Four, which I used in my very first play at YB, a play called Silents, a salute to the art of silent acting.
51 It was just before his 64th birthday, and he told the story of how he received a 64th birthday card from the boys. Dyer addressed the audience: "It read, 'inside of this birthday card there is a very special message from God.' And I opened it up and it said, "See you soon." ' "
52 Dyer paused, then said, "Happy Birthday."
53 Dr. Dyer passed away of a heart attack in Maui on August 29, 2015. He was 75.
54 What is interesting in all of this is that my Mom was a huge fan of Dr. Wayne Dyer, and she also displayed what seemed a mild interest in coincidences. I didn't put it together that the guy she used to read and follow was Dr. Wayne Dyer until I was much older, and had begun a preoccupation with my own experiences with coincidences. I just thought she was interested in some pop book called Your Erroneous Zones, never putting together the author was not talking about middle age insecurity, but instead about the spirituality of coincidences.
55 It's sort of fun, looking back. As I said, most of what was written today are all distant recollections. I would need to re-visit this stuff and come back with what was on TV and when. At one point I began gathering all the facts of what I called The Heidi Chronicles (obviously a salute to Wendy Wesserstein's 1988 Pulitzer Prize-Winning play of the same name) through the years.
56 I eventually shortened the title to The Heidi Chronz, but they somehow have yet to be collected and published. I had some on a Website on Yahoo Geocities, but it is somewhere in the particles of Alderon. Other efforts resulted in computers going wonky, or shaky, or bouncy any time I would try.
57 And truth be told, it would sometimes get cold, and things would go bump, or clicks would happen on computer screens, or on the television.
58 I won't go deeper, because right now I have a deadline, and I would very much like to this out to the masses.
59 Moving On, Part Six: "Happy Windsday, Owl." Guess what is playing for the babies. I just heard that while typing this. "Happy Windsday, Owl." Time to take the babies on a walk.
60 Before I go, I would like to get some information out there about services for Vinnie:
61 With that, I gottago.
62 Have a GREAT day.
63 See you again.
64 TTFN (Ta ta for now--thank Tigger for that one!)
65 Peace, love, and baloney sandwiches courtesy of Hamlet and Balonious. 'Til the next time...
25
Lord Polonius
...What do you read, my Lord?
Hamlet
Words, words, words.
---Hamlet, Act ii, Sc. ii
26 Moving On, Part the Thoid: Thank God it is Wed-nes-day.
27 Why is there a "d" in there? Who invented that?
28 I don't know how much more of this I can take.
29 Ah, it's all good.
30 Silly.
31 Go get a second cup of coffee, or tea, if you are contemptible. Or whiskey if you worry a lot.
32 I'll wait.
33 <waits>
34 <singing> Doe-de-doe...
35 Moving On, Part Four: If you know me, you know I am a huge believer in watching coincidences, and paying attention to them.
36 This dates way back to the early days at Yerba Buena High School in San Jose, and the haunting of the Theatre by a ghost named Heidi.
37 The stories over the years are legendary. You could probably scroll through my history on this nonsense and find a few. Most of my Heidi stuff begins happening in October each year, but the coincidences are ongoing. I've likened my experiencing massive coincidences to Cole's seeing dead people in the classic film The Sixth Sense.
38 The coincidences have revolved around certain recurring themes through the years. The numbers one and nine, for example, recur throughout. I might think of the name "Heidi" and then look to my right to see a guy bouncing a basketball, and wearing a number nine jersey. That's a light "Heidi trip."
39 Another recurring theme is anything having to do with the Titanic. Or Van Gogh's The Starry Night. Or Dr. Wayne Dyer.
40 Many, many readers of this have experienced some of this sort of psychic stuff along with me. It is fascinating.
41 Dyer has appeared at amazing times through the years, one time in particular when I was trying to remember how I was going to end a one-act I wrote for a show a few years back.
42 I was writing a small one-act, thought of a GREAT ending involving Vincent Van Gogh, got interrupted by a field trip to Camp Everytown (the former Camp Anytown), and came back to a massive case of writer's block: for the life of me, I couldn't remember how my ending was to go.
43 I was writing the thing in a spiral notebook so that I could work on it at camp, but if you've ever gone, you know that there is little time to do anything but get brainwashed, but in a nice way.
44 I couldn't even concentrate on finishing that script, because Camp Everytown exhausts your emotions, and for a stint, erases your normal life for a few days.
45 And yes, it was always a mini-vacation, and always an amazing experience.
46 But when I got back, I needed an ending. People were memorizing lines, but the closer we got to performance, the tougher that chore was going to be.
47 So one Sunday morning I pulled the spiral notebook out, and I clicked on the TV. As I recall, the film Serendipity was playing. John Cusack film all about signs and coincidences. When the film ended, I turned off the TV. When I turned it back on, an episode of Medium was on. It was the classic one with Vincent Van Gogh. It was during that episode that the ending to that one-act started coming back to me.
I finished watching, and turned off the TV. The following morning I turned the TV back on. It was on public television, and Dr. Wayne Dyer was giving a talk on coincidences, and other stuff about his children. They went to a pledge break, and when they returned, Dr. Dyer was standing in front of a large projection of The Starry Night. He then introduced his daughter, and she went on to talk about coincidences...
49 Moving On, Part Five: Last night I had a bad night. I kept trying to get baby pics onto my new laptop, and I was met with roadblocks everywhere. The more I tried, the more I couldn't get baby pics where I wanted them. Trust me, I knew it was user, but I went into the midnight hour, and finally decided to calm my stuff down, and to Google Dr. Wayne Dyer.
50 It was a lecture he gave just before he passed on at the age of 64. He even referenced the Beatle tune When I'm Sixty-Four, which I used in my very first play at YB, a play called Silents, a salute to the art of silent acting.
51 It was just before his 64th birthday, and he told the story of how he received a 64th birthday card from the boys. Dyer addressed the audience: "It read, 'inside of this birthday card there is a very special message from God.' And I opened it up and it said, "See you soon." ' "
52 Dyer paused, then said, "Happy Birthday."
53 Dr. Dyer passed away of a heart attack in Maui on August 29, 2015. He was 75.
54 What is interesting in all of this is that my Mom was a huge fan of Dr. Wayne Dyer, and she also displayed what seemed a mild interest in coincidences. I didn't put it together that the guy she used to read and follow was Dr. Wayne Dyer until I was much older, and had begun a preoccupation with my own experiences with coincidences. I just thought she was interested in some pop book called Your Erroneous Zones, never putting together the author was not talking about middle age insecurity, but instead about the spirituality of coincidences.
55 It's sort of fun, looking back. As I said, most of what was written today are all distant recollections. I would need to re-visit this stuff and come back with what was on TV and when. At one point I began gathering all the facts of what I called The Heidi Chronicles (obviously a salute to Wendy Wesserstein's 1988 Pulitzer Prize-Winning play of the same name) through the years.
56 I eventually shortened the title to The Heidi Chronz, but they somehow have yet to be collected and published. I had some on a Website on Yahoo Geocities, but it is somewhere in the particles of Alderon. Other efforts resulted in computers going wonky, or shaky, or bouncy any time I would try.
57 And truth be told, it would sometimes get cold, and things would go bump, or clicks would happen on computer screens, or on the television.
58 I won't go deeper, because right now I have a deadline, and I would very much like to this out to the masses.
59 Moving On, Part Six: "Happy Windsday, Owl." Guess what is playing for the babies. I just heard that while typing this. "Happy Windsday, Owl." Time to take the babies on a walk.
60 Before I go, I would like to get some information out there about services for Vinnie:
Services for Vinnie Richardson
When: Saturday, February 27, 1 p.m.
Where: Family Community Church, 478 Piercy Rd. San Jose, CA, 95138.
Phone: 408-365-0313.
Link:
61 With that, I gottago.
62 Have a GREAT day.
63 See you again.
64 TTFN (Ta ta for now--thank Tigger for that one!)
65 Peace, love, and baloney sandwiches courtesy of Hamlet and Balonious. 'Til the next time...
~H~
fin.
