Wednesday, May 6, 2015









The Daily News

1   <dusting off ballpark dirt> SAFE!

2   <heh heh, that would be me>

3   

4   DAY-UM!

5   

6   Slid right under the tag on Tuesday!

7  I'll get to the Warriors in a sec.

8  Too many sports' analogies.

9   

10   I WILL say this, since this portion of the DN is being brought to you by last night. Listen:

11   My students had to put vocab sentences on the white board yesterday.

12

13   This requires a LOT of erasing.

14   I use water-soaked paper towels for erasing white boards. 

15   AND I found earlier this year that water-soaked paper towels can make even an Old Brown Shoe look like Steph when tossed across a room into the waste basket.

16   Not gonna lie. 

17   Not EVEN gonna lie.

18   I practiced during my morning prep period so that every time I would erase the board, I would hit a three. 

19   I'd love to say...

20   

21   Nah, I was on yesterday. The Woeyers weren't, but I was.

22   I tried to keep it low-key, but I moved, got blocked by kids who were bored and wandering, and still kept hitting the trash, usually with a mental "whoosh."

23   I was pretty nonchalant. Even teachers get bored. And goofy. 

24   At one point I hit three in a row, turned, looked at a kid and said, "I was inspired by Steph."

25  He smiled but really thought, "What a dumbass."

26   



27   Humility is an occupational hazard.

28   






29  Ah well. It was fun. Great trick though. Dampen a paper towel and you will hit threes all day long. 

30  You have to practice, but it takes about two seconds. You can amaze everyone at work.

31  They'll whisper things like, "That guy NEVER misses!"

32   "That guy was inspired by Steph!"

33    Or...

34    "That guy's a dumbass!"

35  

36   Anybody lookin'?

37

38   Fewer and fewer if I keep this nonsense up.

39

40   Moving On, Part One: Wednesday. 

41   Meetings. 

42   

43   Have I mentioned that I hate meetings?

44  

45   I find the vast majority of them useless. They keep me from getting stuff done. 

46

47  Here's how I feel about meetings:

48

49

50


51   

52   That guy works every time. Just sayin'.

53   Gottago.

54   Practice your shots. 

55   Don't worry about the Warriors. They're going to be fine. 

56   Stay safe. Be humble.

57   See you again.

58   Peace. 

~H~

























Tuesday, May 5, 2015


This Gringo says:

"Viva el Cinco de Mayo!!!!!!!"


The Daily News
1  Are we listenin'?

2  I don't know about any of you, but I ducked, and now it is Tuesday. AND Cinco de Mayo. Sorry no upside-down exclamation point. The internet makes it nearly impossible to do first thing in the morning. 

3   AnywayZ...where was I? Oh yeah, I had just ducked out of Monday and now it is Tuesday. 

4   So just duck when Monday tries flying stuff at your head, and before you know it, it's Tuesday.

5   It's always about running out the clock 'til vacay.

6   Last night I got home HELLA early only to find that we had people coming in at six to view the house.

7

8   I had just gone to Lucky store and scooted around looking for healthy foods. I specifically looked and bought stuff that was high in protein with zero-to-no carbs, and tons of veggies. 

9    <basketball buzzer>

10   

11   I pulled up on the driveway and went inside. Turns out we had people coming over to tour the house, and if you want the highest return on your investment in a house, it is essential that potential buyers fantasize that human beings do not live there. 

12   You must be gone, and the house must become a setting for a play.

13  I totally didn't know anyone was coming.


14   Anybody lookin'?

15   We got home and suddenly had to drop any plans for relaxing in the eves, and took off for a pizza and a beer anywhere human enough to understand our plight.

16   We wound up at the Olive Garden, and swiftly changed the mindset to a date night. 

17   Date night on a Monday. I'm starting to like all this. I didn't get any work done and instead had an evening of great food, good wine, and lots of laughs. 

18   I was shivering and ready for a complete and total nervous collapse when I looked at the menu. 

19   The waitress came by and asked if we should care for a free sample of their specialty wine.

20   

21   I KNOW.

22   But free? Why the heck not?

23   The waitress was wonderful. She poured a mild portion of wine in my glass. I took a sip and responded, "We'll have a bottle of this!"

24   All was well on this Quatro de Mayo, the birthday of my Mom. 

25   She was sending miracles down from the sky. 

26

27   Anybody lookin'?

28   

29   Travel back to last night.

30   Mad Bum going into the fifth with a 2-0 lead. 

31  

32   I'm hoping revenge will be served cold. 

33

34   I'll have to wait and see, since I'm still hammering this one out to you.

35   The Fifth of May.

36    I'm pretty sure there must be a better handle.

37

38  Where IS that guy?

39

40   

41   

42   Captain Cinco de Mayo!

43   

44   Wake up call.

45   It's Cinco de Mayo y'all!!!

46   THAT guy is incongruent!

47   Celebrate.

48   Just celebrate. If you have the means to a Mariachi Band, then enjoy still more. 

49   The human spirit man. 

50   Celebrate it across the planet. 

51   So Mad Bum didn't get a no-no, but it was sure fun anyway. 

52   So Happy Cinco de Mayo! Perfect excuse to goof off.

53   I'm finally starting to live. 
54   Viva Cinco de Mayo.

55   Gottago. Enjoy your day and your night. You have LOTS of back up!

56   Adios.See you again.

57   Peace.

~H~















Monday, May 4, 2015



MVP! MVP! MVP!




HUGE CONGRATS STEPH!!!




The Daily News
1   Howdy!

2   

3   I said, "HOWDY!"

4    First, congrats to Steph Curry for not only being the MVP, but for also showing every reason possible in yesterday's Warriors' victory. What a player, what a team, what a season!!! And there's more.

5   Can't wait. Great fun. Like REALLY great fun!!!

6   Moving On, Part One: Well, lots goin' on, lots goin' on.

7   I made a pact with myself to work this year to the very end. Rather than dying on the vine; I want to go out on fire. 

8   So. Retirement. Nice work if you can get it. I'm doing everything I can to go out valiantly, and with a touch of gentility and class. 

9   

10  No, seriously. I could already be retired, but I wanted to finish what I began, which is to rest on my laurels, quit now and hop on a hammock. 

11  I've got the trees...

12

13  Anybody lookin'?

14  

15   Nah, just kiddin'. I want to finish out with a bang, and teach everything I ever wanted to teach. 

16  My weekend was spent running from my own home because we had over a hundred people looking at our house. 

17  From what our realtors said, we were visited by most of the people in the neighborhood. 

18

19  That was a bit odd. We had to make ourselves scarce so we chose to head to Mountain View on Saturday for a mini-Art and Wine Festival thingy. It was a wonderfully peaceful thing to do while in a tornado of stress. 

20  I almost bought every piece of art in the place, including the wooden guitar wall decorations this one guy carves, whittles and burns using wooden logs that fall from the pines that are on his property in Placerville. He burns images of Jimi Hendrix, Carlos Santana, Paul McCartney, Jerry Garcia, etc. into the wood and then forges it into the guitar each guy plays. Great for an Old Brown Shoe Cave. 

21  And then there was this guy who sold me a $75 Hawaiian shirt he designs. 

22   

23  Nice work if you can get it. 

24   Ah, it's all good. Sometimes you have to heave a little money around, just to ease stress. 

25   Hawaiian-Shirt guy was awesome. It was like talking to the costume designer for The Beach Boys. I got a travelin' neon shirt, complete with neon signs and a Route 66 theme.

26   Funny what a simple IPA can do to a fella who hasn't eaten. 

27   Great time, lots of laughs and giggles. 

28   I got home yesterday from wandering the streets of Willow Glen, and remembering how much I love to hit nostalgic antique stores. 

29   I got lost in all the cool stuff. Old hats, older magazines, square TV's from the fifties, Cagney hats, old rusty Pirate keys, and cloche hats for the wimminz. 

30   




31   Style man. 

32   Loved every second of it. 

33   They had a Mad Magazine collection to beat the band, prompting me to look for a Mad classic called The Phewgitive, a send-up of the inimitable QM production.

34   If you haven't seen the show, I've linked the entire series for you at the end of today's DN. I got WAY into it earlier this year, but eventually collapsed from watching so many episodes. Hope you enjoy it.

35  I searched a few months ago but couldn't find the Mad spoof online. I couldn't find it in the antique store either, but on a whim, I Googled it on my Iphone yesterday and viola!

36   Some online geek managed to grab the issue, which was Issue 89, September 1964, which had a cover featuring Frankenstein making a model of Alfred E. Neuman. See photo at the top of the page, hovering just above a very confused Steph Curry. 

37   The Fugitive was the story of Richard Kimble (Janssen), an innocent doctor accused of killing his wife, and who was convicted and sentenced to death. He had an argument with his wife on the night she was murdered, but he left the house to cool down. 

38  When he returned, his headlights caught a one-armed man, staring frantically into his headlights, and then vanishing. 

39   Richard Kimble came home to see that his wife had been murdered, looked around nervously, but was caught by the police. 

40  He was tried, convicted, and sent to be executed. His handler was Lieutenant Philip Gerard (Barry Morse), who felt that if a jury convicted the guy, then it was up to him to see that justice be done. 

41  Each episode drew me in. They all began with a voice-over that explained what had happened, and then a visual of Gerard and Kimble on a train headed to certain execution for Kimble. In the opening sequences, Gerard and Kimble are handcuffed together.

42   But each week, fate steps in; the train derails, and the handuffs break, freeing Kimble from Gerard. 

43   With a crazy series of images, Kimble escapes, and runs for his life, always falling into a mucky puddle, surely a foreshadowing of his ongoing destiny. 

44   The premise of the show is Gerard's obsession with capturing Kimble, and Kimble's frantic running and twitching every time he hears a sound. He magically finds odd jobs in small town America, and settles in, always looking over his shoulder. 

45  Each job takes him to different off-beat towns, where somehow he manages to fall in with a job, a beautiful woman, and the police. 

46  They never know he's Kimble until around the middle of Act 2 (It is divided into four Acts, always followed by an eipolog) when someone thinks he looks familiar, usually a local police chief. 

47   Great writing and fun stuff, The Fugitive became hugely popular from 1953 to 1967. Stealing ideas from  Kerouac's classic novel On the Road and Victor Hugo's Les Miserables, The Fugitive introduced America to it's own hypocritical darkness, often moving through dusty roadside cafes, rainy streets reflecting neon loneliness, and an expansive road trip through America .  

48   The Mad Mag spoof was reasonably spot-on, written by the wry and sardonically talented Stan Hart, and illustrated by the great Mort Drucker. While a bit dated (the second frame, for example,  has Kimble (called Thimble in the piece) looking at his reflection in the window of the train and thinking, "Is it true blondes have more fun?" a reference to a classic Lady Clairol commercial that played endlessly through many TV shows in the Sixties.

49  The rest was fun, but difficult to locate online. For your viewing pleasure, here is the link to that classic spoof:





50  One click and it's yours for the taking. It's a bit tricky, but you'll catch on. 

51  Hope you enjoy it, and I hope you enjoy your week!

52  Gottago.

53  See you again. And congrats again to MVP Steph!!! 

54   Peace.


~H~



























Friday, May 1, 2015














The Daily News
1   Friday!

2   I was so stressed all week that I thought Wednesday was Friday. 

3   Seesly.

4   I had to plan for Monday early in the week because we are going to have people walking through our house this weekend. They don't want us around, so I was completely preoccupied with planning Monday's lessons on Wednesday. 

5   I actually told a class, "Have a great day. Have a great WEEKEND."

6

7   I get this question every now and again as a person who is retiring: "Do you have any regrets?"

8   

9   Well, yeah. Saying that on Wednesday. 

10

11  I regret something every single day. I'm Catholic.

12  

13  Well, I was raised Catholic. If I'm in church these days, I need to watch the Super Catholics to see when I'm supposed to kneel, or put my hands up to the Lord.

14  I do know the Our Father, so I just sort of barely put my teeth on my lower lip and mumble through it all.

15  

16   Am I worried about Heaven and Hell and all that stuff?

17   I guess I should be, because if what they say is true, I'm screwed.

18  

19  My feeling is this: I'm just as good or as bad as the next schlep. 

20  If we shadows...

21   Moving On, Part One: I am drenched in Shakespeare. I told my classes that if they are going to claim the highest test scores in the District, and want to walk proudly, then looking at cell phones when Juliet is dying doesn't become them. 

22  The result? With my English 2A classes, it worked, especially with Branagh's Much Ado About Nothing. They made roller coaster sounds throughout. 

23   Cell-phone addicts couldn't stay off their phones, so I just made one or two remarks. Cell-phone addicts are cell-phone addicts. They're the same people who think they can drive safely while texting. 

24   

25   I sort of get it. Not the texting and driving, but the fact that we have a generation that doesn't know what to do without a cell phone, because they've ALWAYS had them.

26   Yeesh.

27   It's been fun though, in the classroom, and today I'm going to do a theatre game with Shakespearean insults. 

28   Never tried it before, but it should be fun. 

29   It's also cool because Joss Whedon just put out the new Avengers movie. 

30   Right after the first, he directed Much Ado, which I have yet to like, although a lot of people like it. I gave it a couple of shots when it came out but it left me cold. 

31   Moving On, Part Two: I need to get going; I've a lot going on these days and am in a real time crunch. It's been that way all year pretty much, and it is beginning to wear thin. 

32   I'm pretty sure I can safely say have a good weekend and look at things positively. 

33   I just heard a bird singing outside. I sighed, because I'm moving, and I love the peace and quiet of our street. 

34   Sometimes it gets you.

35   Yup.

36

37   Gottago.

38   Have a GREAT weekend.

39   See you again.

40   Peace.

~H~