The DN

1   Last night I got stressed.

2   Then I emptied the garbage.

3   Garbage.

4   Thursday is garbage day.

5   Today is Thursday.

6   Is that possible?

7   My plan originally was to get through Monday.

8   Somehow I had SO much to get done that without noticing I did all of it.

9   My mind is 50 First Dates.

10  I don't remember any of it.

11  Maybe it's that whole protection thing when the body goes into shock.

12  Yes, I'm sure that's it.

13   Somehow I got whisked to Disneyland, came home, got hurled up to Dad's, got the flu instantly during the ride home, threw up about sixty times, slept it off, went back up to Dad's next morning almost completely cured,  watched the NIner game with him, graded six bazillion papers, organized new lessons, finished all my grades, and somehow made it to Thursday.

14   Wha hoppen?

15   I finish this week by going to Junior Prom on Saturday night. I fully intend to look spiffy and dapper.

16   And then Sunday I fully intend to watch the Niners/Carolina game.

17  If the Saints and Niners win, Candlestick has one additional game.

18  I'd love that. 

19  I'm still spinning though.

20  How did all that happen in so short a period of time?

21  And how did I not go off my rocker in the process?

22  It's 'cuz I suffer from CRS.

23   It hits young marijuana addicts and anyone over forty. 

24   What's CRS?

25   By now I thought everyone knew.

26   Can't Remember S#!t. 

27   Anybody lookin'?

28    

29  How come I didn't censor that word in yesterday's edition?

30  Wait.

31  What WAS yesterday's edition?

32  Is it Tuesday or Wednesday?

33  I'm disorientated.

34  

35  Disoriented.

36   afjkfldjfsfjsladkj

37   I keep waiting for my sanity to return.

38   I knew I should have gone right when I went left on Space Mountain.

39  Why, I'm going to sue those Disney folks.

40  Moving On, Part Two: Has anybody seen the cover of this month's Mad Magazine?

41  I think I saw it.

42  Can't remember.

43   Looks like Alfred E. Neuman is twerking.

44   Even I got offended, and not much offends me.

45  When did it all come to this? O sometimes I think I must go mad!

46  Ah I'm okay.

47  I think I'll finish this one off like I did yesterday.

48   Just polish it off like a pint of bad hooch.

49   Have a GREAT Thursday, whatevuh it is.

50   See you again.

51   Peace.

~H~

https://thedailynews-h.blogspot.com/

The DN

1  "You are invisible."

2   That's what my gmail told me a minute ago.

3   Our school is on gmail. I guess you can make yourself invisible.

4   I didn't know.

5   Far too bizzy. White rabbit syndrome, I imagine.

6   "You are invisible." It's such an odd thing to read late at night.

7   I'm not sure what I imagine when I hear the word invisible.

8   I picture a guy in bandages with a fedora and sunglasses. What else? Well...nothing really.

9  It's said that the goddess Athena had the power to control who could and couldn't see her.

10  Wouldn't that rock?

11  You hear a Stacy coming your way and <poof>.

12  Where'd he go?

13  Sublime.

14  Enchanting.

15  Useful.

16  I'll bet if I Googled "The Invisibility Conspiracy" I'd find about a bazillion websites insisting the Invisible are already here, and have been since  Ancient Messopotatoes. 

17  I'll check later.

18  That's why I like conspiracies so much.

19  There are so many to choose from.

20  From which to choose.

21  Anybody lookin'?

22  Moving On, Part One: I've tried keeping my sentences short today.

23  Too much Strunk and White. I taught my class a bit about the famous college English book The Elements of Style. 

24  I taught them how how E.B. White, the children's author who wrote Charlotte's Web among a bazillion other things, as a student observed Professor Strunk in action. 

25  I don't have the description at hand, but the essence is that Strunk was a madman about brevity.

26  In his intro to one of the little book's editions, he described Strunk as instilling fear, turning red, and exploding on his students, 

"OMIT UNNECESSARY WORDS! 

OMIT UNNECESSARY WORDS!

  OMIT UNNECESSARY WORDS!" 

27   

28  Guy's right.

29  But yeesh.

30  Can you imagine a teacher doing something that fierce in 2013?

31  They'd cart him off.

32   I do love all the concepts in the book, that's what kills me. 

33   So much so that I like it's epithet.

34   They call it The Little Book, which the Professor enjoyed. 

35  I use it. I teach it. 

36   So does Stephen King.

37   For the uninitiated, he's the author of Under the Dome, as well as some bullshit book about JFK.

38   As a writing teacher, I find King's On Writing one of the best books ever. It flips, it moves, it rivets, but mostly it teaches not only students, but anyone interested in the art of writing. 

39   My thoughts? Why listen to me when you can listen to a billionaire?

40   Books and lit. I need a football game.

41   It probably won't break your heart that I'm cutting this short. 

42  I was up late finishing grades, which is when all the madness suddenly stops. 

43   I hear a plane rumbling in the sky. It's late. 

44   Gottago.

45   See you again.

46    Peace.

~H~

https://thedailynews-h.blogspot.com/

The DN

1  Yay.

2  That's the teacher's scream the second grades are all set. 

3   It's a silent scream, because a) we're teachers so we don't jump up in a bar and yell "F@C& YEAH!!! and b) no one cares.

4  So I'll sit on a little bench on the playground, eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and say, "Boy, the PTA sure did a good job of painting these benches." Or maybe even, "Yay." 

5   fkdfdsflsdjfsd

6   Anybody lookin'?

7   It's 11 p.m. and my last email came from a parent who praised.

8   That happens to teachers a lot more than people think.

9   If you're a young parent, do that. We don't do the job for praise, or for the money or any of that, but it sure is nice when a parent takes the time at 10:30 p.m. to do that.

10  It was my last email of the evening, and my roof opened up to winter stars. 

11  Yeesh.

12  Semester grades. Massive job, massive deadline, and massive stress. Tons of papers and finals. 

13  <looking up and noticing people are getting up to get coffee and scratch their asses.>

14  Yay.

15   Did I tell you I went to Disneyland?

16   afkdjfdsjfdf

17   <crickets>

18   Moving On, Part One: Ah vell. Loving life right now.

19  How was your Monday?

20  Mine became funny quite early. I did everything in my power to go in strong after an exhausting weekend.

21  I planned, I organized, I worked, and I walked in early. I was ready to clobber them.

22  I brought all six bazillion pounds of papers, lesson plans, books, candy bribes, and anything else I could think of on a dolly and wheeled it all into my classroom. 

23  What an image. O.G. teacher in the gangsta hat and tie wheelin' it all in. 

24   Yee-uh.

25   When I opened the door and turned on the light, I saw that I had it together enough when I left for vacay to leave the date, and a message that read, "Happy New Year!!! Welcome Back!!!" It had a smiley emoticon dude next to it. 

26  I walked in all swag, saw that stuff on the whiteboard, and smiled as my class came in. 

27  One eagle-eye decided to ruin my morning. He pointed at the board and said, "You spelled 'welcome' wrong." I turned to the board and saw that I had indeed spelled 'welcome' 'welcom.' 

28  I swiftly swiped my hand across the hideous error and said just as swiftly, "I didn't seeanythingdidyou? hashtagdumbass hashtagnooooooo! hashtaghashtaghashtag.

29   Anybody lookin'?

30  I'm not quite done yet.

31  I recovered, did some welcome back jive, squeezed in Disneyland, and gave a list of vocab words to be converted into sentences. 

32  I then began my offensive, which was to get grades done.

33  What nobody knew was that I had found a brand new DVD of The Odyssey, which I was to pop on the last twenty minutes. I hooked it to a powerful mini-Altec speaker, then told them they could put away their work.

34  I popped it on, and the thundering drums began, Odysseus running through Ithaka with his large bow; his wife screaming with the pain of childbirth, and people screaming.

35  The students drew in immediately, since they had just read the story. 

36  I started doing the grading when I noticed that the actors talked funny. I listened.

37  They were all talking Greek.

38  How?

39   A few years back The Odyssey stopped putting out their CD's of that film. I went to get one on Amazon and the price had gone up from the usual $12.99 to $198.00. I remember almost fainting when I couldn't find my primary DVD. All I had was a VHS of the film.

40  I'm not sure why, but a few years ago it became less rare, so the price went back down to $12.99 once more. I think I gobbled up around three copies, just to have some backup. The trouble is I never tested all of them.

41  The one I got must have figured that San Jose must be an island in Greece, so they mailed it to me.

42  The kids, of course, laughed and enjoyed watching me grab the DVD and explain that it was in Greek, and that women scream the same in any language, only in Greece someone is going to inevitably shout, "OPA!"

43  And so it was done. 

44  By some miracle I got the DVD out and found my dusty old VHS copy and made the switch. It went pretty fast, and before I knew it, The Odyssey beamed, in all it's glory, this time in English.

45  Every now and again we go to VHS. It's always fun, because it's so nostalgic. You don't have a menu of scenes so you have to watch the counter. 

46  My player at school rewinds in slow motion. It may finally poop out today. 

47  It's a livin'.

48  What a fun way to start the new year. Totally Chaplinesque, right where we left off.

49  I like it that way.

50  It made it all come alive within seconds.

51  Hope you got some sort of smile from all of this. I finished it last night at around 11:30 and then took to a good night's sleep.

52  Have a GREAT day.

53  See you again.

54   Peace.

~H~

https://thedailynews-h.blogspot.com/

fin.

The DN

What a Game!!!

 

 

1  We're baaaaaaack!!!

2   Happy New Year to you all. Any football fans out there? Amazing games, culminating in the incredible battle of two great teams yesterday in Green Bay's tundra. A tundra, by the way, is by definition frozen, therefore the term "frozen tundra" is superfluous. Some science teacher told me that once. I slugged the guy. No regrets.

3   Been awhile. Let's see...English language issues...football...English language issues...football. BLAMMO!!! AnywayZ, GREAT game with two teams that battled for the right to rule the galaxy. That's why we watch. I'll leave it at that. Congrats Niner fans AND Chargers' fans AND Saints' fans AND...am I leavin' anyone out? fdfdkfdfkjfjd

4   I just flew in from Disneyland, and boy...

5   Am I ready?

6   I'm always ready.

7   Returning to Disneyland after nine years was sunny and fun. My daughters treated. How cool is that? Flyin' south and hangin' in So Cal right after Christmas. It was summer down there, and HELLA crowded. Hella. That's Nor-Cal, right? Disneyland. I LOVE that place.

8   You know how you go through life having certain rides that are your favorites?

9  Indiana Jones has dominated the last nine years as my favorite ride, at one point knocking Pirates out for first place. 

10  Before that it was the Matterhorn but that's going back a few years. 

11  Pirates made a comeback this year. It is back on top as my fave Disney ride of all time. Why? With all the new stuff, why? Okay even if you don't wanna hear it you gonna hear it.

12  If you know me, you know I'm not really a thrill ride guy, despite heroic efforts by the venerable and most admirable Rosi Hollinbeck to get me there years ago.

13  Still, I went on Space Mountain and it jarred my teeth. I have ridden that one before but this time I'm certain they turned the speed dial up to a bazillion.

14  Sidebar: When you have had circulatory issues since July, it isn't a good idea to hop  aboard something that shakes your eyeballs and rattles your brain. 

15  Space Mountain was awesome at first, but it started to occur to me that I could quite easily swallow my tongue, or have my heart blow up.

16  The last forty seconds found me headed for certain doom.

17   I made it; I'd even say I enjoyed it but I'm wondering about brainbell jangling rides. The final twists and turns of Space Mountain had my skeleton go through my skin.

18  I wanted somebody arrested for attempted murder.

19  Ah, I lived. The next ride I went on was Pirates. I wanted to kiss the dock. "Yo ho, yo ho a Pirate's life for me." Dark, soothing, lapping waters and a banjo.

20  I reached a point in Disneyland when I wanted to slow it all down.

21  We went two days after Christmas. It was mobbed, but my daughters are Disney geniuses, got up early, and got a handful of Fast Passes. 

22  As crowded as it was I learned how to navigate. My former vending job at stadiums taught me how to weave through crowds.

23  I truly felt that Space Mountain jangled me to the point that the peace and mellowness the Pirates of the Caribbean became a pas de deux between me and Disneyland. 

24  Everyone wanted to hit the Matterhorn. I wanted to go over to Main Street and check out Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln. 

25   It plays a big part in my ghost stories so I wandered over. It was pretty late. 

26   Interestingly there was nothing coincidental or crazy. What was fun was that the show was simple. One had the feeling that it was the identical show that opened originally in 1965.

27  One strange thing did happen on exiting the exhibit. I walked down Main Street a few doors and saw the Magic Shop. Something immediately caught my eye.

28  It was this:

Okay.

I have posted just two animated

pictures in the entire history of the 

DN: 

This camel.

And this spinny thing.

29  I posted them on the same day. I've no time to dig through my archives right now, but it was this school year.

30  The picture I took of it doesn't spin, but the spinning thing spun in the window exactly the same as the animated pic above.

31  And I had just emerged from Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln.

32  Disneyland.

33  I was also standing in line to Pirates and mentioned to my daughters all of the coincidences. 

34  I then mentioned that Fantasmic had now defeated Les Miz as the best production I've ever seen.  

35  Just as I finished saying that a Pirates' boat floated by.

36  It's name?

37  Fantine.

38  For the record. That's a cool coincidence.

39  They've continued right into 2014.

40  The coincidences. 

41  In fact they seem more frequent than ever.

42  How I spent my Christmas Vacay.

43  It'll be great to be back and see all the kids and colleagues.

44  But we're baaaaaaack!!!

45  I'm a little rusty, but I'll get back in the groove.

46  Today we just go in and fly low.

47  Looking forward to taking on the second semester. 

48   I think I'll sneak out. A special congrats to all the Niner fans out there who watched a much better game than they think. 

49   Have a great day.

50   See you again.

51   Peace.

~H~

https://thedailynews-h.blogspot.com/