The DN

1  Whoooooopieeeeee!!! It's Frideeeeeee!!!!!!!

2  <crickets>


3   I'm officially old.

4   Ah, it's all good. 

5   Friday to a teacher during the school year is just an opportunity to catch up with grading. It usually takes around two days.

6   Pretty exciting stuff. 

7   Ah, whatevs.

8   Moving On, Part One: I came to one conclusion, Niner fans: Josh Johnson > Wuzizname Gabbert. 

9   Send Gabbert packing. He could ride Clementine outta town. 

10  Moving On, Part Two: Is the internet getting steadily worse? I love all the technology, but things that used to be routine now take about six years to open. 

11  Yesterday it took me about a bazillion years to begin writing this nonsense. 

12  Remember when the internet was SO much easier?

13  Whoops! I wrote "bajillion" and the corrections officers straightened me out. It is properly "bazillion." It exists as an infinite number, so no amount of zeros follow it. Who knew? Who cares?

14 Moving On, Part the Thoid: Sometimes it just be time to move on. 

15   smh.

16   Long week. 

17   Took me about four bazillion years to get this thing out there.

18   Computer safety here, Big Brother there. We had this talk. 

19    fdaffdafsff.

20   I decided early last night to cut this short tonight.

21   All apologies. 

22   Anyone reading this rocks. 

23   Anyone not probably rocks too. 

24   I'm convinced that in minute ways, most people rock. 

25    But as the Beatles once said, "There's nothing for me here, so I will disappear..."

26   I don't want to spoil the party so I'll go.

27   Going to spend the weekend with Dad. 

28   Looking forward to it.

29   Best guy ever. 

30   So I'm duckin' out.

31   Stay cool. Enjoy your Friday. Don't none of you young' uns worry about me. I got plenty of partying yet to do. I'm thinking of Crystal Light and marshmallows tonight. Can't wait!

32   Anybody lookin'?

33   To all of my fellow high school friends enjoying the Capuchino BBQ this weekend, have a blast! Brian, you're a genius! Stay young, my friends. And stay safe.

34   Gottago. 

35   See you again.

36   Peace.

~H~

The DN

1  Okay. I have a convession. I am amazed at normal guys who can do extraordinary things.

2   Yez, a convession. Leaf me uhlehown. 

3   I am amazed at normal guys who can do extraordinary things that LOOK normal to the average guy, but which would stump a guy like me.

4   Yesterday I walked the parking lot over by Target. This guy in an oversized A's cap stepped in front of me and did a perfect tongue spit.

5   It arced, and then it hit the street on pointe.

6   He continued into the liquor store without to no applause. Didn't miss a step. A true professional.

7   Spectacular.

8   Tough guys who spit always impressed me as a kid. They just knew how to do it.

9   And on pointe. I've seen the same sorts of guys able to do that for years. It's a certain sort of dude who could do that so elegantly, and stay poker-faced.

10  Convession: I used to practice.

11  I'm sure a lot of young men used to practice.

12  I don't know about anyone else, but it seems the to me that the thuggier guys could always out-spit the unthuggier guys. 

13   You'll never guess which guy I was. 

14   Yeah, that's right.

15   It seems they ought to create a reality teevee show about those guys.

16  

17   Something to think about, seriously.

18

19   Anybody lookin'?

20   All apologies. 

21   Does it occur to those guys that as cool as they think they look, nobody needs to spit, in general. Except baseball players and managers. But that's just tradition. 

22   Moving On, Part One: And so it goes.

23   

24  Vonnegut. Slaughterhouse Five, each time anyone dies. He saw a lot. He lived through the Dresden bombings. He retained an amazing sense of humor, for a guy who experienced something so hideous. Good man, Vonnegut. 

25  He also wrote this: "The only difference between Bush and Hitler is that Hitler was elected."

26   Ah, Vonnegut! You scoundrel you! Poor Dubya. Innocent little varmint. 

27   Here is a wonderful overview of Vonnegutese:

http://www.avclub.com/article/15-things-kurt-vonnegut-said-

better-than-anyone-el-1858


28  Fifteen Things Kurt Vonnegut Said Better Than Anyone Else. It's worth a look.

29  It is all Truth.

30  Whatever THAT is.

31  Loves me some Vonnegut.

32  Remember when it was okay to read controversial things?

33  Those days are vanishing.

34  We are pressured these days to censor anything that might make students think.

35  Just sayin'.

36   Over the years when we would have to teach non-fiction I would teach about the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Last year was the fiftieth anniversary of the assassination. There is monstrous proof that one lone nut didn't do it, and that it is more likely he was done by some very high fallootin' hombres. 

37   The entire beginning of Julius Caesar allows us to sit in on the clandestine meetings that surely took place when JFK was taken down. I don't think our country has ever recovered.

38   The trouble is, I'm finding myself moving to safer things these days. I don't want anyone higher up getting upset with what I teach. 

39   Education has subtly reached that. We  teach what the state tells us to teach. 

40   Big brother is here. 

41   I'll teach it anyway, but will probably not use the film JFK, even though I think it is pretty spot on. Too many cuss words. 

42   Imagine that. My feeling used to be this: if parents don't want their kids to hear cuss words, don't send them to a school that has 2700 teenagers. 

43   Not anymore. 

44   The control is so subtle and silent that most don't see it.

45   Some day nobody will understand the reference to Big Brother.

46   Chilling.

47   I'll be retired by then.

48   I'll sit and watch. 

49    

50   Gottago.

51   Peace.

~H~

The DN     

MAD BUM!!!

1   The other day I stood in the break room downstairs, a place I never knew I could use.

2    Copy machines tend to hate me.

3    So many different ways to fail.

4    This new varmint has all sorts of tricks, but I don't have the time to read the manual.

5   When I go through the swinging doors, it stairs me down like a grizzly cowboy.

6    I know deep down that the thing wants me to screw something up. 

7    Heck, I do that enough on my own time.

8    It is always a little creepy going into that dark room first thing in the morning. I turn on the lights and there stands the varmint.

9    I'm not quite ready to name it that, but it is always that moment when we both find ourselves poised for a shootout.

10   I usually spin my gun and zip it into my holster. No point wasting ammo on a varmint.

11   Moving On, Part One: I'm not really moving on, just changing the story a bit.

12   In the midst of the thing running what it was supposed to run, I kept glancing at this round table off to the left.

13   It had someone's bag on it, a half-full roll of Brawny paper towels, and a zucchini the size of Algiers. 

14   

15   It had a little sign on it that said that it was free.

16   I started my walk around the copy machine and up and down steps, but kept coming back to the thing.

17   When you've been eating healthily, you find an offer like that a bit too hard to refuse. 

18   I garden, and I am aware of the thick skin of an overgrown zuke, but the healthy part of me kept thinking barbecue with some bbq sauce. 

19   I decided to grab it and take it up to my room.

20

21   Huge zucchini's don't travel well. 

22   You ALMOST have to put them under a ream of paper and hold them to your side, hidden from any sort of comment.

23   It isn't an easy thing to transport in any sort of situation.

24   It screams, "DON'T BE A FOOL!!! KEEP ME HIDDEN!!!"

25   

26   Anybody lookin'?

27   I looked out the window for an all clear.

28   When I saw it, I grabbed it, protected it like a running back, and reached my room undetected. 

29   I instantly threw it into a random box and slud it down the side.

30   I promptly forgot about it and got back to planning and doing all the nonsense required of a teacher.

31   The day rolled along merrily. I forgot about the thick-skinned squash and went through all the motions of finishing up the afternoon.

32   After my last class left I STILL had to write up lesson plans for today.

33   I wound up staying until after 6, when I finally decided that enough was enough.

34   I wanted to make SURE that I would have the night off, and that I could watch a little baseball.

35   When everything was finished, I gathered all my stuff and was out the door when I remembered...

36   I didn't really know how to transport the thing. 

37   I looked at my orange-and-black backpack. Baseball. I gotta get home.

38   My eyes darted side to side. 

39   I put the thing in the backpack and made SURE that it hit bottom. 

40   I kept telling myself, "Don't forget it's there! Don't forget it's there!"

41   I moved swiftly back up to the room and began packing to get home for the game. 

42   Ever overload a backpack so that it won't zip?

43

44   The large zuke somehow nudged itself enough that it would have been visible to a cave beetle.

45   The walk to the car had me moving fast. All I thought was of someone coming out of a meeting, seeing the backpack and screeching, "Hey, is that a zucchini in your backpack...?"

46   It's a livin'.

47   Moving On, Part Two: Anybody watch that Giants' game last night? Mad Bum painted a masterpiece. Buster stepped up, both veterans of the 2009 San Jose Giants. They always had arrived, but that game was what we have wanted to see all year.

48  It was a wonderful evening and a great game. That team got knocked around in Chicago and never recovered from the rain and the odd schedules. 

49   I hope they still have hope. Weirder things have happened. Good to see our Giants still fighting.

50  Baseball. Sometimes it's a poem. 

51   That's about it for today. LOTS to do, always. I did go in and do an earthquake preparedness drill with all my classes yesterday following the aftershocks.

52  My classes are as prepared as they could be. It took ten minutes, and I got all my info from the safety people at USC.
Here's the link:

http://www.dropcoverholdon.org/

53   Stay safe. See you again.

54   Peace.

~H~

The DN

AFTERSHOCKS!!!

1   Aftershocks. Do I just try to ride them? This was already written when they started hitting this morning. Stay WAY safe. Here is the DN that was already written. I'm jumping under a desk. Scary. I'm holding class on center field away from danger. Hoping everything goes well. Be really careful and you have my permission to pray today. 

Written yesterday and early this morning: 

2   How come my forty minutes running all around this morning doesn't count as exercise? I'm beginning to enjoy the first class of the morning being my prep period.

3   When it was next to lunch I saw it as lunch. I used to go off to a pho place and kick back for a while. 

4   Now I can't.

5   I have classes breathing down my neck. The entire morning is getting ready for the day. 

6   So I actually do extreme prep work during my prep period, and that requires running down stairs, forgetting something, running back upstairs, going across campus for mail, and then up and down stairs a few more times. 

7   Okay it isn't vending Candlestick, or even Levi's, but it's a heck of a lot better than the peace and quiet I enjoyed while putting on the pounds.

8   Last night I stayed after school working 'til 6. I got no exercise because I was sitting down, but I did get most everything done for today. 

9   I also started a barbecue last night.

10  I KNOW, I KNOW.

11  Anybody lookin'?

12  That was by design, by the way. I bought a bunch of chicken, so that I can put it in salads and stuff. 

13  The trouble with barbecue is that you need to be checking constantly.

14

15   Okay I'm back. 

16  All looks copacetic.

17   Moving On, Part One: is anyone else being tortured by idiotic drivers?

18  This guy tailgated me onto the freeway yesterday with a look in his eyes like Goofy's Mr. Wheeler. Have a look:

19  I'm amazed at how often Goofy makes it into this rag.

20  Ah, all so true.

21  I'm amazed at how I have both guys in me. Mr. Wheeler and Mr. Walker. 

22  Classic. 

23   Fun throwing some video into the DN. Only took me nineteen years. Gottago for a sec. brb. 

24   

25   BBQ in check.

26   I'm now like Mr. Walker sans traffic.

27   

28  I have a chicken smudge on my glasses.

29  You know, the GREAT thing about a BBQ is that it is the only thing left that can extend summer.

30   That and baseball.

31   Is it a tease?

32   Or is it the REAL deal?

33   You judge.

34   I gotta go set up the slip 'n' slide.

35   

36   <fading for a brief moment>

37   We hikin' Cascade?

38    No but f'realz. 

39    How you gonna tell me?

40   That was esoteric. Cascade is a great little hike in Tahoe. Beautiful hike, but why would you name a hike in the forest after a dish soap?

41   #catthatatethecanarysmile

42   Nice night.

43   Good morning.

44   Paul Simon. He was just mentioned on the game, which is on a minuscule teevee playing behind me. 

45   I just turned.

46   They just zoomed in on Paul Simon and Larry Baer talking baseball. 

47    Wow.

48    Art enters life.

49    I teach an entire unit on the Songs of Paul Simon. 

50    When it rains it pours, and when it's still summer, it soars. Not into the Emmy's this year. Sorry. Something had to give. Still summer. 

51   The poets eat this sort of stuff up. 

52    Early evenings and new things. 

53   Might tell you how it works out. Might not. Lovin' it either way.

54   See you later.

55   Stay safe.

56   Peace.

~H~

Yup. And then...aftershocks.

Goodness.

Keep good thoughts.

I'm going to go over our earthquake safety stuff today.

I personally think we should have school out on the fields for

the rest of the week. 

First thoughts.

Love you all.